THE EXORCIST
"They call my husband 'The Exorcist.'" "Why?" "As soon as gets to a party, he rids it of all the spirits."
FROG'S DREAM GIRL
A frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is going meet a young girl. The psychic tells him, "Yes, you are." The frog replies, "Where? In a bar or at a party?" The psychic says, "In biology class."
GOD'S DEAD DOG
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
WITH GOOD CLAUS
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.
GUM
Why did God give women belly buttons? For somewhere to stash your gum on the way down.
EASTER EGG HUNT
Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing a chicken.
DYSLEXIC AGNOSTIC INSOMNIAC
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
JINGLE BALLS
Q: Why did Santa have to have his balls removed? A: Because he'd carried his sack over his shoulders one too many times.
LESBIAN HAREM
What do you call a lesbian with ten girlfriends? A Bush Hog
MISTAKEN IDENTITY
A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, "You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?"
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